I'd like to start by saying how much I love the book The Bridesmaid Guide by Kate Chynoweth. This is truly an enlightening (as far as you can be enlightened on this subject), entertaining and reassuring while being an easy read. In this post, I'll embrace the enlightening and entertaining sides by addressing the subject of the long distance bridesmaid and then completing the post with an amusing quiz on what kind of bridesmaid you are. Michelle administered this quiz to me and it reaped many a laugh from me and I hope it does the same to you. Let's begin!!!
Far, Far And Away
...there was a beautiful bride who dwelled in a somewhat lovely (always bland) suburb outside of Atlanta. This beautiful bride had five equally lovely bridesmaids who were thrilled to be at the service of their bride. All summer long, they sqeauled and cheered as the bride looked for (and found) her dress, as they mingled about bridal shows and even suffered together through subpar bridal "boutiques". However, all good things come to an end and as fall approached, the bride would see off her bridesmaids to all corners (not really) of the United States. What was a bride to do?
The answer is simple: With weddings changing drastically over the passed 20-30 years, the growth of "bridezillas" and more modern or unconventional-thinking brides, the role of the bridesmaid has changed with it. According to Chynoweth, "there is nothing conventional about being a bridesmaid these days," (pg. 20). For the long-distance bridesmaid, the best thing we can do for our bride is make sure we are as emotionally available as we are logistically, perhaps even more so. I know I want to be as helpful for Lesley-Anne as I can be, but there is going to come a time when the decisions are hers alone, and there are going to be times of lull where major decisions have been made and now we're taking a break. So, since that time is coming up on us where there is a lull, our most important task is to be an emotional stronghold for her, giving her our honest and loving support with whatever decisions she makes.
Also, something none of us may have considered is the unique position of being a long-distance bridemaid. As Chynoweth puts it "many brides treasure having an out-of-towner to talk to, someone who is far away from the hustle and bustle of their family and wedding plans, someone who has a sense of humor and a distanced perspectgive on the event," (pg.22). We will all be able to give her a perspective that does not include Atlanta or Peachtree City...we will be able to distract our bride with tales of VA, ND, or MA...tales of badass children (most likely not actually), rolling fields, and law school students gone wild on caffeine. As I mentioned before, when we feel down about not physically being there...we need to realized the utter importance about being there emotionally for her. LA may go through a time where planning or family, or future family, members leads to argument or high stress and she needs to vent...
Now for the quiz...this is straight out of the book. I'll post the questions and answer choices here now and in a few days, I will post the different categories of bridesmaid that you could be. If you really want to be brave, you could put your answer choices in the comment box for the whole world to know what kind of bridesmaid you are.
Here we go!
A) Explain the snafu to the bride with hopeless tears in your eyes.
B) Run like a maniac through town even though there are no flower shops/they're closed/they're tacky, and arrive sweaty and late to the ceremony with a torn dress and no blooms.
C) Pilfer flowers from vases at a nearby resturant or reception site, create the best bouquet possible, and offer it to the bride with a brave smile.
3. The formfitting dress makes you look more like you're carrying a wideload than like J.Lo. You...
A) Blame yourself for not being slender or attractive enough
B) Tie a sweatshirt around your waist and forget to take it off before you walk down the aisle.
C) Invest in some newfangled undergarments and make the best of it.
4. An ex-boyfriend, who is also a very good friend of the couple, is shooting you strange looks from across the reception room. You...
A) Stare down at your plate, and as soon as possible hide in the bathroom.
B) Gossip about him ot your neighbor, ignoring the fact that the best man is in the middle of the toast.